A man met a woman in London during the Olympics and decided he wanted to marry her right away.

She protested, "But we divvn't na anything aboot each other."

"That's all right," he replied. "We'll learn as we go along."

So she consented; they were married, and decided to honeymoon at a very nice resort.

One morning, husband and wife were relaxing poolside when suddenly, the husband got up, climbed up the 10 meter board and did a two-and-a-half tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly and almost without a ripple. This was followed by three rotations in jackknife position before he again straightened out and cut the water with knife-like precision.

After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel.

"EEE pet that was incredible!" his wife exclaimed.
"I'm an Olympic diving champion," he explained. "You see, I told you we'd learn more about one another as we went along."

With that, his wife got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. She was moving so fast that the froth at one end of the pool had hardly disappeared before she had touched the other end! She did laps in freestyle, breast stroke, even butterfly.

After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel.

"That was incredible!" he exclaimed. "Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"

"Na man," she said, "I was a prostitute in Newcastle and worked both sides of the Tyne..."