Welcome to Rushlight
The Belfast Magazine's
Message Forum


Please feel free to join the message forum discussions.

General Forum
This Forum is Locked
Author
Comment
View Entire Thread
Re: Jokes 8

The Prince of Wales was driving around his Mother's estate one day when he accidentally ran over her most prized corgi dog.

The poor unfortunate dog was crushed to a pulp! The Prince got out of his car, sat down on the grass, and started crying. The whole world was already against him and now his mother would be furious.

Suddenly he noticed a lamp half buried near his foot. He dug up the lamp and polished it. Low and behold, all of a sudden, a genie appeared.

"You've freed the genie from the lamp from thousands and thousands of years of imprisonment, and for freeing me I will grant you one wish". "WOW!!!!" said the prince, this could really save my neck. "Well I have all the money and material things that I need, but let me show you this dog".

The Prince and the genie walked over to the splattered remains of the dog. "Do you think you can bring this dog back to life?", asked the Prince. The Genie looked carefully at the remains and gently shook his head.

"This body is far too gone for even me to bring him back to life, isn't there anything else you would like instead?"

The Prince thought for a moment, then reached into his pocket and pulled out two photographs.

"I used to be married to this beautiful woman called Diana", said the Prince showing the genie the first photograph, "but now I am married to this woman called Camilla, do you think you can make Camilla as beautiful as Diana?"

The Genie studied the two photographs and after a few moments said, "Let's have another look at that dog!"

Re: Jokes 8

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me,' said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me, one for you,
One for me...'

He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls!'

The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk.' When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, One for me.'

The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord...

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, 'One for you, one for me. That's all.. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done....

They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on the bike passed him.

Re: Jokes 8

way to go
helps with all this snow
number 8
took the cake
number 9
is next in line
keep them coming
for they are stunning.

Re: Jokes 8

Hi Joker, I just love this joke. Your jokes just get funnier and funnier. Keep them coming. They make my day.
Hi Rusty, Nice poem. You should share more of them with us.

Re: Jokes 8

Two young women and an older senior citizen woman were sitting naked in a sauna, when suddenly there was a beeping sound.

A young woman pressed her forearm and the beeping stopped, she said sorry that was my Pager; I have a microchip set under the skin of my arm.

A few minutes later a phone rang and the second woman lifted the palm of her hand to her ear and began talking into her hand. When she finished she explained, "that was my mobile phone; I have a microchip inserted in the palm of my hand."

The older woman felt very low tech, but not to be out done she decided she had to do something! She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom returning with a piece of paper sticking out of her bum.

The younger women raised their eye brows in amazement and stared at her.

Finally, the older woman spoke and without missing a beat said, "Well, just look at that, I'm receiving a Fax!"