The "joker" is the rainbow to many readers on a rainy day. I and many readers are wondering why the joker hasn't been posting for a while and if he/she is well or not. Perhaps we will get a reply from the joker and failing that maybe someone can enlighten us. It would be nice if readers endorsed their concern
I second that Rusty ... The Joker is missed and was a very welcome contributor to the Forum...if you are out there Joker , let's hear from you .
PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE, Joker! Come back if you can. We all miss you.
Here's a wee one to start the ball rolling again....
An elderly couple is attending church. About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent f*rt; what do
you think I should do?' He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid!'
It was great to see the joker back and with a real cracker too. Thank you Joe and Nell for your endorsements. The great combination is back on track .
Joe's history and jokers humour to put the icing on the cake. Who needs the Rambo, chuck Norris,(death wish) Clint Eastwood reruns.
Just In time too. we had great weather for a while now its raining.
I agree Rusty, many a smile and a chuckle Joker has brought to the Forum, and God knows we need them these days
HORRAY! Welcome back, Joker. That was a great chuckle.
A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop on the outskirts of Belfast to have his jeep fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said his brother didn't live far and would just walk over to where he lived for a visit.
On the way to his brothers he stopped at the hardware shop and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the exotic pet shop and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the shop he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.
While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 137 Oakman Street?
The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my brother's place isn't very far from that street and I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.'
The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the tin of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?'
'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl to her destination.
On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. It will make our walk shorter and we'll be there in no time.'
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me... How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?'
The farmer said, 'Catch yerself on woman! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'
The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens!'
That old lady sure as hell knew what she wanted. lol. Welcome back Joker, you were well missed, I can now let the tears roll down my cheeks with laughter, and , I might be getting a hearing aid as well, sure need one.
An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.
Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather tentatively.
"I would like it infrequently" she replied.
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, leaned over towards her and whispered, "Is that one word or two?" (you might need to read it twice)